The Time to Trust

Bags packed…well mostly. Passport. Tickets. Debit card and some leftover Quetzales from past trips. I can make it to Guatemala = step 1. Step 2-349: get large suitcases to room, meet people and remember names, speak Spanish, find a home, find a bed?, find the internet, find laundry facilities, find food, figure out what exactly I’m doing for a year..a month..today, breathe, enjoy the moment, how do I get to work?, how do you ride a chicken bus?, ¿qué? Otra vez, por favor…¿cómo se dice…?  Stop. Back up.

Step 1: Make it to Guatemala.

Oh, the rollercoaster of emotions that I have gone through in the past year, months, and 3 days…I’m pretty sure I have experienced every possible one.  Though, apparently I am an internal processor of these things since my mom said the other day, “You haven’t said too much.”  I know the emotions have leaked out to different people at different times – my pure excitement, joy, tears, fears…but overall, my mind, heart, and God have been the listeners of my thoughts.  Whenever I’m “processing” I think back to all the events that have brought me to this moment: adopted siblings coming home, trips to Guatemala, Spanish classes, abroad trips, social justice conversations and actions, St. Kate’s, a letter or hug from a child, uncertain career paths, prayers, encouragement, prayers…Though all these events (and many more) have led me here, I particularly reminisce to a car ride back to St. Kate’s after a visit home last summer.  I had been discerning deeply where I was headed after graduation…I knew a year of volunteering was in my future, but in country or out? And where? With who?  Guatemala with Common Hope had always been a front runner, but there were still many uncertainties that kept me from committing.  That car ride made my decision.  I shut off the radio, both hands on the wheel and said “Okay God. What is it? Where am I suppose to go?” I waited…I listened…I breathed.  And then I knew, “It’s Guatemala isn’t it? It is! That’s where I’m suppose to go.” *deep breath* “Okay. Let’s do it.”  From then on, I knew.  There have been moments of doubt since then and times when it seemed just easier to stay here, but I know this is my call for this year.  I have something I need to do in Antigua, Guatemala.

I have decided to keep this blog in order to attempt to give those I love back home a glimpse into my experience.  I am uncertain what type of blog this will be or how it will turn out, just like I am uncertain of all that is in store for me this coming year.  I hope that whatever occurs, you will find something here to connect with me and the people I collaborate with.  Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated.   Now, it’s time for me to take a leap. To trust. I am ready. In the simple words that got me through my Spanish classes in college: “Todo está bien, todo está bien.”